


The Monologue That Started Everything

by Alexlikestowrite



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, M/M, maybe some smooching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 21:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14680212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexlikestowrite/pseuds/Alexlikestowrite
Summary: Michael loves monologues. And the time comes for him to write one and perform it for his theater class. In his nervous state he grabs the wrong paper, and instead of grabbing the one he wrote, he grabs the angry confession he wrote after a particularly unhappy time at a party.HUGE DISCLAIMER: This is not my original idea. In the Be More Chill discord I'm in they came up with this idea and I decided to write it out! So, hopefully they enjoy it as well as you all.





	The Monologue That Started Everything

Michael was never super into theater. Sure acting and helping backstage was fun, but he didn’t fall in love with it until he found out about monologues. Something about being the main focus on the stage, pouring your heart out, and being as dramatic as you could resonated with him. So, for the longest time he wrote monologue after monologue. Pouring his heart out and even performing them in front of some friends for feedback. Christine even performed some of the monologues he wrote.  
While the whole Squip thing with Jeremy was going on he wrote two monologues. One, a retelling of their epic 12 year friendship with a hint of guilt trip. The other, a love confession. To who? His best friend Jeremy. Someone he had been in love with since the sixth grade. After a party he was….beyond emotional. When he got home he smashed the two together, creating possibly one of the most heart wrenching monologues he had yet to write. He kept it in a folder, along with all of his other works.

 

And now the time came to write a monologue for class and perform it. In front of the whole class. Michael was ready. He spent the whole week on it. As most everyone knows, Michael is a huge nerd. So his monologue was about a villian. Expressing his anguish and story to how he became a villain. As the day drew closer and closer Michael grew more and more nervous. He knew it was good, but the thought of performing it on stage in front of his whole class was nerve wracking. That morning he got ready in a daze, repeating and memorizing the monologue in his mind. Going over how he would go about doing it, how he would move, how he would talk. In his daze he grabbed the wrong paper from his folder, and put it in his backpack. The whole school day he distracted himself from the nerves by focusing on his work. Or as much as he could anyway. Michael had Rich for a lot of classes and he liked to talk. Not that he minded much, it was a distraction too. He had theater class last, with all of his friends. Jeremy and Michael always walked together, meeting up near the cafeteria.

“So, you ready for today? This is worth a lot.” Jeremy says as Michael approaches him, and turns to walk with Michael to the auditorium.

Michael lets out a nervous laugh, nodding. “Yeah. Totally not freaking out or anything.” He says and turns to look at Jeremy, “What about you?”

Jeremy shrugs, “A little nervous but I think I’ll be fine. I just never shared anything I wrote before, so I’m just nervous if people will like it.” He says and hold the door to the auditorium open for Michael.

“Yeah, me too. We’ll do good. I hope.” Michael says, whispering the last part to himself as he entered. They took theirs seats, middle and center. Where all their other friends are sitting. Class starts and Christine is the first to volunteer to go up. She does well of course. She was probably Mr. Reyes’ favorite student cause she always had the energy to perform. If not just a bit too much. Then it was a few other people until Jeremy was called up. His was about some war man giving an inspirational speech. It was pretty good, inspiring with jokes sprinkled in. Then, next up was Michael. Getting his paper out of his bag he walks up to the stage, hands shaking slightly.

Mr. Reyes smiles at him, “Alright Mell. No need to be so nervous. You may start when you’re ready.” He says, gesturing to Michael. Michael nods, looking to his friends who were all smiling and giving him thumbs up. He smiles back, gets into a sort of stance to begin the scene, and takes a deep breath. 

“So, we’ve known each other for a...pretty long time. Aboooout...twelve years? I’ve only spent four of those without you…” He starts, reading from the paper. His brows furrow and he gulps down as he quickly scans the paper. Holy fuck. It was the wrong fucking paper. He got the wrong paper. This….this was his angry confession. Fuck. But he couldn’t just stop now. He needed this. It was worth most of his grade. He let’s a curse slip past his lips, breaking the little character that he had built. He doesn’t look at the chairs. He knows everyone is staring at him. Most of all Jeremy. He just stares at the crows nest that was opposite the stage, up and high. 

He takes a deep breath, deciding ‘fuck it’ and going with it. It was about time he told Jeremy this. Even if it was in front of twenty students. “I’ve only spent four of those without you. And honestly I can’t even imagine how my life would be without you. You...were always there for me. And I for you. And then! Like most fucking high school cliches you….you throw it all away. For some girl.” He lets out a shaky breath, daring a glance at his friends. Jeremy looks confused and mortified and Christine looks guilty. Fuck. He didn’t mean to make her feel like that. This was before he even knew her that well. 

“And, at first I understood. Wanting to be cool for someone you like. Hell, I’m guilty of it to. Except, I didn’t fucking eat a computer and abandoned my best friend!” He says, maybe a little too loudly. His eyes are stinging and he bites his lip, taking a moment to push back the tears. “I mean….how could I? You are...one of the most important people in my life. If not, thee most important. And it hurt. It hurt sooo bad when you ignored me. And when you called me a loser at that fucking party? Man, I could fill the ocean with how much I cried. But instead of oceans I filled my pillow.”

He wipes at his eyes, unaware that he had started to cry. “Shit...sorry.” He mumbles, hands shaking and he starts to breath heavily. “Come on Mell..” He says to himself, patting his cheeks and taking a deep breath. “And. You’d think, normally, a best friend wouldn’t cry that much right? Wouldn’t mourn like you had just died instead of you just abandoning me. But I couldn’t help it. Because for years. Yeeaaars. I have….I…” He trails off, trying his hardest not to let his crying get so bad and calm his breathing. “I love you..Jeremy. Like, for real. Romantic, gay, love. I’ve been in love with you since the sixth grade. So yeah. Fuck you for not only leaving me behind for someone who barely knew you, and for breaking my heart.” 

He stands there, just staring straight ahead as the weight of his words crushes him. He should’ve just fucking taken the failing grade. It would be better than going through this shit all over again. He looks down at the audience, first at his classmates. He can see some of the girls are crying silent tears and the guys just look sad. Despite the emotions he was feeling now, he also felt proud. He had managed to make some people cry with his writing. That was an accomplishment. Then to his friends. Rich is crying, as is Christine. And Jeremy. Jeremy is gone. He smiles a empty smile, crumpling up his paper and walking down the steps. He ignores his friends who try to comfort him, pushing past them to go outside.

As the door slowly closes behind him he slides down the nearby wall, wiping away his tears and silently laughing at himself. “You fucking idiot….you ruined it.” He says to himself, bringing his legs up and resting his head on his knees. He should have just stopped.


End file.
